


a lifetime ago

by nightingvle



Series: mahariel march [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/F, Other, non-binary mahariel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23022922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightingvle/pseuds/nightingvle
Summary: The faces of Ashahra’s past still haunt her.
Relationships: Mahariel/Morrigan (Dragon Age), Morrigan/Warden (Dragon Age), Past Mahariel/Merrill
Series: mahariel march [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651615
Kudos: 1





	a lifetime ago

**Author's Note:**

> day 4 of mahariel march: memory

Ashahra pulls the bow string taut, remembering their mother’s words spoken from what feels like a lifetime ago.

_Breathe, my child. Move the bow as you would your own limb._

Their movement is as smooth as a river’s stream as they aim their arrow. The bow is a part of them. It is not so easy to forget that now, after so many years. Would their mother be proud, they wonder?

_Now, let loose your arrow as you exhale. Trust that you have aimed true, for learning to trust yourself is an important lesson that may yet save your live someday._

With a deep breath, they exhale and let the arrow slip between their fingers as quick as a sparrow. The piercing of rotten flesh fills both their ears and nostrils as they scrunch up their nose, eyeing the last of the darkspawn who lies with an arrow straight through the chest. They did indeed aim true, just as their mother would have approved of.

The piercing sound fills Asha’s mind once more and she shuts her eyes tight, as if that will somehow block out the images before her. They flood her mind like a murder of crows flocking around her the moment she offers them a bread crumb—only these ones are unwelcome, and she knows not what to do to be rid of them.

Ashahra opens her eyes and lying on the ground before her is Tamlen, flesh rotting and lifeless eyes frozen in terror. This is a look she remembers all too well, one she could never forget. He had looked so terrified the moment he got close to the mirror and she should have known, should have acted more like Merrill and pulled him away in the nick of time. Perhaps then, things would be different.

_Or maybe it would be you lying on the ground alongside him_ , another voice whispers.

They stumble back at the sight, finding it unbearable to look at the face from their past, yet unable to look away. No, no, _no_ is all they can say, as if that will do any good, as if those words will change the fact that he’s dead and has been for some time, never to return. 

A tear slides down their cheek, more welling up in their eyes the longer they stare until they can bear it no longer. Ashahra turns away, looking off into the distant forest and remembering all the times they shared with Tamlen, and Merrill, in those woodlands. 

They both would have liked to have been here, she thinks. Even Merrill, who dutifully follows the Keeper’s every word, would have enjoyed this. She always did like adventure. 

Ashahra’s gaze falls upon Morrigan, who stands off to the side, rolling her eyes at some comment Zevran made, and she smiles sadly. Merrill would have liked _her_ , too. 

When they turn back to the fallen darkspawn, it is no longer Tamlen’s face they see, but he remains in their mind all the same, and they wouldn’t have it any other way. As painful as the memories are to bear, they don’t ever want to forget him. Their hands clench the sides of their cloak at the thought of doing so. 

With a shaky sigh, Ashahra walks on to meet with the rest of their companions who give them a curious gaze. Ashahra does not have any words to offer, but Morrigan’s hand holding their own is enough to keep them going towards their path. 


End file.
